Brave New Democratic Terrorists

Open letter to site visitors - 1st October 2001
Democracy Strikes Back
Pakistan, ally in the bold and courageous attacks by the brave warriors
of the US and British led air strikes, demonstrates most clearly the implementation
of democracy in our time.
Thus, bombing Afghanistan, a country which by every definition and according
to every expert is already destroyed, is a democratic action, which must
be supported by the great democratic leader of Pakistan, renowned for
his leadership in democratic principles.
On the other hand, demonstrations in the streets of Pakistani cities,
protesting these same air strikes, must be suppressed by any means, including
use of brutal police force, because, in this case, people expressing an
opinion is a direct threat to democracy.
And that explains why Pakistan has democratically detained muslim leaders
who would call for people to voice opposition to this otherwise absolutely
democratic process.
We will try to avoid any unneccessary examination of this superficially
contradictory situation in the education of our children as to the true
democratic values which must be upheld against the terrorist enemies.

I would like to take a moment now to praise the men and women of the
British and American armed services who are risking the loss of hot meals,
pre-mission porno movies and even in certain cases reports of spilled
drinks and in one instance a slight burn from a tipped coffee cup while
carrying out the launch of the many cruise missles and other 'smart weaponry'
which, in the true spirit of democracy, is able through the use of technology
similar to that found in your trusty PC or the ground control system at
major Italian airports, to infallibly identify legitimate targets or legitimize
the targets which are found and as confirmed by the heroic general staff
of the American and British high commands, both military and civilian,
then all the dead and injured resulting from these extremely risky strikes
are terrorists, or if not terrorists, then they are definitely friends
of terrorists or those who support or condone or otherwise help terrorists,
and this is proven, ex post facto, prima facie, because that must be the
reason these enemies of democracy have chosen to live in Afghanistan,
and as we now know, people only ever lived in Afghanistan so they could
be terrorists or grow up to be terrorists if they are children, or die
a terrorist death of starvation, and all of them are openly opposed to
democracy, or otherwise they would be helping America and Britain attack
themselves instead of hiding in caves and holes which they, as devious
terrorists, prefer as their homes and cities.
America, as champion of democracy in our time, and especially representing
those 75,000 black folks in Florida whose votes were disqualified as pesky
and interfering in pre-determined outcomes in the last American presidential
referendum, yes, America, home of the free and, in all our names, authorised
to strike out and kill anywhere in the world to protect democracy and
by special authorisation of the US congress and CNN, not to have to bother
with any voting or other democratic processes in deciding who will be
targetted next.
Let us all bow our heads in deep gratitude that somebody is taking on
this dangerous task, people who are willing to spend enormous sums of
money and use up lots of fuel and armaments to keep America free and to
guarantee big profits to those paragons of democracy the multinational
companies who so selflessly serve as suppliers of arms and munitions in
this time of deep crisis. Let us reflect with solemnity on the sacrifice
made by these people, every one of whom is placing themselves on the front
line, that is the psychological front line, only a few thousand miles
away from the bloodthirsty terrorists, terrorists armed with a modern
arsenal - and America and her allies should know just how modern since
they supplied them - able to threaten the fragile democracies while continuing
to disrupt all our lives especially as regards normal TV programming.

I just want to take this opportunity to point out once again the special
role that Mr. Tony Blair, whose personal courage makes Sylvester Stallone
and Tom Cruise look like wimps of the first water, and has even made Maggie
Thatcher jealous of his masculinity, has thrust his tiny and delicate
nose out from behind the mailed skirts of the American giant to let us
all know that we really have to congratulate Britain not only for their
encouragement of the sometimes too cautious Americans but also, if the
daring Mr. Blair can be believed, their actual leadership and guidance
for the frankly inexperienced and otherwise timid Americans in this dangerous
enterprise. Britain with its known high regard for all human values, that
is demonstrated by its tradition of exterminating tribal peoples wherever
they may be found and then saving their cultural relics for exhibition
to succeeding generations in the museums and universities of what calls
itself civilisation. Britain which is constructed on the genocides of
their own native tribes, the scots, irish, welsh and cornish and paved
the way for the techniques of post-colonial destabilization policies where
every new nation created since WWII has to be made up of historically
antagonistic and incompatible groupings to guarantee perpetual internal
strife and in the best cases open civil war. Thus Afghanistan is a construct
itself, a British ploy in the old game of countering the moves of their
economic rivals, Russia and Japan, and can never taste peace unless it
reverts to local, regional models of governance.
In the meantime, the US and the UK together, these two great nations,
known throughout history for their unwavering commitment to democratic
values in others, and risking all their great democratic achievements
and institutions, especially their secret police and domestic intelligence
agencies, coldly and heartlessly plan and execute the genocide of probably
four million people in the region who are predicted even by the UN itself
to die this winter from the combined effects of starvation, disease and
exposure in the region..
This is not the place to mention Mr. Blair's indiscrete admission of
sensitivity regarding the national security issues connected with 'confidence
in our economies', yet still, these two great nations are ready to march
forth against such a clearly dangerous foe, to protect the rights of stock
markets everywhere and currency speculators, achieved over many decades
through the democratic processes preserved in such various places as the
European Community, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Gibralter, the Falklands,
the many African, Asian, Central and South American countries whose democracies
(although in many cases America and Britain have been forced to deal with
various tyrants and dictators while working hard to implement true democratic
values). These cradles of democracy have been so valiantly supported by
America and Britain while humbly offering to relieve them of their burdens
of mineral and agricultural wealth which these backward, and generally
non-white people, would otherwise be suffering under.
But, it is now time to warn those who would dare to criticise or condemn
or even to waiver in absolute unquestioning support of this great undertaking:
and a special thank you to the BBC and CNN for their christening of this
phase of existence as respectively: War on Terror or America's War Against
Terror; nonetheless, back to the train of thought here, you should be
very aware that this is no time to exercise any democratic rights nor
to voice any wobbly doubts or second thoughts about the just and righteous
nature of this great campaign, undertaken against great odds, against
overwhelming obstacles (remember those mountains in Afghanistan), and
any loose talk will be taken at face value, i.e. as overt sympathy for
the terrorists, and as America has democratically announced, unilaterally,
which is a special branch of democracy reserved for America, anyone expressing
anything which could be interpreted as sympathy for the terrorists will
be dealt with in the same manner as democracy is going to deal with the
terrorists themselves. These terrorists and sympathisers, including women
and children, always used by terrorists to hide behind, will be destroyed
utterly by smart weapons, no civilians or otherwise innocent people will
in any way be harmed while carrying out this destruction, and afterwards,
a complete dossier will be produced which shows that a complete record
of these people has been kept and all their movements were suspicious
from the beginning and now can be seen as part of a terrorist network
working in hiding to sabotage the great democracies and their holy democratic
processes, which processes are indeed so holy, that they are seldom seen,
and definitely not to be entrusted to the people under any circumstances.

So, once again, civilisation is being pulled back from the brink by the
Americans and their mighty military machine, fearlessly pitting themselves
against a terrible adversary. And you've got to hand it to the Yanks,
they are going into this battle just straightaway and really putting themselves
in grave danger. Remember, the Americans are battle hardened veterans,
who have honed their fierce and deadly skills against a range of highly
regarded adversaries whose names read like a list of the great enemies
of civilisation: Haiti, Greneda, Somalia, Nicaragua, Libya, Iraq, Lebanon
and I could go on but who needs more proof of the bravery of the American
democratic military. Every one of these vanquished opponents a virtual
super power in its own right, with every technological advance and possessing
or desiring to posess the most modern military infrastructure and boasting
state-of-the-art defense industries with overwhelming military force and
in some cases even equipped with a jeep or truck, one with a transistor
radio and a mobile phone and some of their soldiers have boots, or would
like to have boots.
The courageous and proud Americans have never deigned to stoop to fight
the feeble USSR, carefully avoiding any fight during the many years when
the Russians were so laughingly calling themselves a super-power but were
known to be really defenseless, nor has America ever challenged any other
such lesser equipped enemy, choosing instead to concentrate their efforts
against the true threats to democracy representated by these great and
horrible countries named above, whose total agglomerated wealth is hardly
enough to be granted a MacDonald's franchise.
So, I hope that I have helped in some small way to praise the courage
and selflessness of the Americans in this, their hour of need, and to
discourage anyone who would dare to speak out in direct contempt of democracy.

Thank you and please let me know how you feel about this - that is only
if you agree, otherwise you had better be quiet because you must be a
regards, Hajj Mahmud